I know, as opposed to old challenges. All that means is... Well... Maybe I'll talk about it as I think of it.
Wednesday brought a fun challenge of delivering a birthday card to someone on the member record that we had never met or seen. We went and found that she no longer lived there, but the lady who was living there (I am assuming she was her grandmother) was just like "You are from the church? You know her name, address, and birthday and you have never met her but you brought a birthday card? That is so very scary. She would be so scared." And Heavenly Father really shut me up because after we left and were walking away, I pulled out all the sass. Scary? Sister Tamagusuku and I are NOT scary! We are two young girls who made a HANDMADE BIRTHDAY CARD because we saw that someone had a birthday! How many people put all that same information into various websites and get birthday emails and such without another thought?! But heaven forbid we bring a handmade note to the door. Excuuuuse me.
On Thursday we got to go to a members home and we had a delicious meal! Sister Tamagusuku had the opportunity to teach bits of the lesson in English, which was exciting. The next day, she had to go off for a conference and so Sister Jolley came and worked with me for a day.
That day, we all made cookies and Mexican food with a wonderful lady. It was delicious and really defining for all of us. We had the opportunity to share the gospel with her and challenge her to read and pray about the Book of Mormon. I think there is great potential their and I really hope that I can be better missionary in order to help out. I guess that has been the main challenge lately. Feelings of such great mediocrity. Trying and failing and trying and failing again and just following this continual cycle of nothing happening because of my inability.
I've been really struggling. I just want to be a good example for my companion and give her experienced with lessons and miracles and being able to do astonishing things but I have just come to really see how unastonishing I actually am.
I have so many more feelings that I could express, but I don't know if here is the right place or the right time. Needless to say, I asked for a blessing from Elder Ferni on Sunday and he gave me one, which helped. But that along with some other frustrations are really pushing me to my limits. I don't know how much more I can do.
Also there was a GIANT SPIDER and everyone thinks I am crazy but I won't walk on that side of the street anymore.
Maybe next week will be better. Perhaps I just need the faith to fail, because the faith to succeed doesn't seem to be taking me anywhere. Wow, that sounded awfully pessimistic. I'm really sorry. Just disregard all of that. Just know that it isn't easy and that I am simple getting stronger, I suppose.
Sister Teagan Clark